Pathological jealousy is a totally different story. This is true interdependence - which is the goal of love relationships. As with any 'disruption' within a love relationship, if a greater result is sought and a genuine desire to fully listen and understand the other individual is created, then a third and higher solution can be born. This grants the person being confronted the ability to reassure and reconfirm their love and commitment to the insecure individual and also enables them to realise the person discussing these fears loves them enough to care and discuss their feelings in a controlled and honest manner.Ī discussion on 'jealousy' (insecurity) can actually bring two people in love into an even deeper intimacy and connection. ![]() This requires being honest about these feelings without projecting blame. įor less evolved couples (individuals working on self-emotional security issues), jealousy can be used as an ingredient to help strengthen trust in a relationship, and can be 'normal' feelings of insecurity within love. More than this, they know that feeling jealous and behaving in insecure ways is the fastest way to destroy and lose a relationship.Įvolved people deeply understand: What you fear is what you create, and what you focus on grows. Evolved couples also know: if their partner did leave them for another or play around, there is nothing they could do about it (other than accept it!) This requires two people who are emotionally secure (and mature) enough in themselves to know and trust the security of their love. Love, devotion, caring and the secure feelings of knowing your partner is committed to you and loves you are sufficient. The love for and of another person doesn't require jealousy to prove it or protect it. I personally don't like and certainly don't endorse feeling jealous or being exposed to the jealous feelings of a partner. ![]() I have many partnered friends who take self-work and spiritual growth very seriously and thus have evolved past the need to have jealousy as a confirmation of love. I can understand why society has this view, although I believe this jealous spark requires good communication skills and respect to be productive rather then detrimental to a couple's love. Most people believe that without the feelings of jealousy, a couple may not love each other enough to care, and the relationship would be flat and lifeless without this spark. Many relationships that are deemed healthy may have twinges of jealousy in them, and this is a generally accepted society view. What I am discussing here is jealousy in the context of relationships that are exclusive and committed. Obviously we can appreciate a person's concern if their partner commits an act of infidelity, contradicting the expressed understanding of a sexually exclusive relationship. The jealousy I am discussing in this article is not connected to adulterous behaviour. When these states become pathological, then delusion and insane behaviour sets in - and the results are devastating.
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